

Everything in Australia Can Kill You | ||
A bloody good musical comedy! | ||
Music and Lyrics by Ben Kaye-Skinner |
Additional Lyrics by Phil Malcom |
Book by Ben Kaye-Skinner, Phil Malcom, and Aaron Holmes |
Additional Music by Tomás Campbell, Trey Dugger, and Ken Topham Graphic Design by Ken Topham |
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Follow Us:
Bruce Vickers and Sheila Hackett are tasked with developing Tourism Australia’s Tourism 2018 campaign. After discovering a series of online memes claiming that everything in Australia can kill you, they petition their boss and perennial job-hopper Scott Morrison to host a group of tourists for a journey across the country as a PR ploy.
Once the tourists arrive, no one is safe. Before the trip even begins, a maple-syrup-flavored bloodbath taints the prospect of an idyllic journey. Throughout their travels across southern Australia, the group sings, discovers, and flirts with disaster in cities, the ocean, and the Outback. As Bruce wonders if the trip is cursed, the audience is left to wonder if Bruce and Sheila will ever be able to let their true feelings for each other out of their mouths.
Bodies start to pile up, and the climax of the show reveals an excessively-planned scheme to discredit the Land Down Under and push the rest of the world to turn their backs on the Lucky Country. Does this spell the end of the tourism industry in Australia? Who is really behind the online campaign to demonize their beautiful land? And what is a barbecued snag?
Song List
Act One
- Everything In Australia Can Kill You (Opener - Chorus, Scott
- (Shitty Promo 1) Australia - The Land Of Opportunity - Sheila
- (Shitty Promo 2) Australia Rocks - Sheila, Bruce
- Nothing In Australia Will Kill You - Bruce, Sheila, Scott, Chorus
- Cobbers - Bruce, Sheila
- Slang-O - Bruce, Sheila, Chorus
- What’s With These Assholes? - Scott, Chorus
- Drop Bear - Bruce, Sheila
- Australians Cannot Drown - Bruce, Sheila, Chorus
Act Two
- Cobbers Reprise - Bruce, Sheila
- The Song Not Named 'Tritone' - Bruce
- Suck the Poison Out - Nurse, Bruce, Chorus
- Strat Plan - Kalyn, Bruce, Sheila, Scott, Chorus
- Everything In Australia Can Kill You (Closer) - Bruce, Sheila, Scott, Chorus
Cast
Creative Team
Ben Kaye-Skinner
Phil Malcom
Aaron Holmes
Tomás Campbell
Trey Dugger
Ken Topham
Meet the Company
Benjamin Mitnick

Apryl Schwarz

Russell Girmus

Bernadette Godfrey

Elizabeth Godfrey

Julie Homolka

Liz Kaye-Skinner

Trinidi Oswald

Tucker Svec

Adela West

Kathryn Godown

Lauren Godown

Mandi Oswald

Averie Scheil

Brock Godown

Melissa Houchin

Zander Johnson

Jodi Meyer

Jeff Schwarz

Ben Kaye-Skinner

Phil Malcom

Aaron Holmes

Tomás Campbell

Trey Dugger

Ken Topham

Donors
Geneva Arts Council Brick Road Boutique & Coffee Shop Megan Burda City of Geneva Cumberland’s Fashions Fillmore Central Public Schools Fillmore County Foundation Geneva Public Library Geneva United Methodist Church Angie Hafer Rochelle Hazelton Nan & Lew Kaye-Skinner |
Brandon Korbelik Mary Tous Charitable Foundation National Endowment for the Arts Nebraska Arts Council Nebraska Cultural Endowment Ray & Margaret Nichols Bill Reinsch Rialto II Theater/Fillmore County Cinema Association Schelkopf Engineering Shickley Community Foundation Janelle Steig Sutton Electric Michael Tully |
Glossary of Aussie Slang
- A Few Sandwiches Short Of A Picnic? - Someone quite dumb
- Acadaca - How Aussies refer to AC/DC
- Advance Australia Fair - The national anthem of Australia
- Angus Young - Lead guitar player for AC/DC
- Ankle Biter - A small child
- As Fit As A Mallee Bull - Very strong and healthy
- Banana Bender - Someone from Queensland
- Bathers - Swimsuit
- Beauty - Great!
- Better Than A Ham Sandwich - It’s better than nothing
- Billabong - Small body of water
- Bingle - A fight or a car crash
- Blimey - A word of amazement or surprise
- Bloke - A guy
- Bloody - Very; In some places a swear word
- Bloody Hell - Generic curse
- Bloody Oath - Yes, or it’s true
- Bodgie - Fake, false, inferior, worthless
- Bogan - An uncultured and unsophisticated person
- Booze Bus - Police vehicle used to catch drunk drivers
- Bottle-O - A place to buy alcohol
- Brekky - Breakfast
- Bruce - Generic name for a man
- Buckley’s Chance - Little chance
- Chrissie - Christmas
- Chuffed - Very pleased
- Chunder - To vomit
- Cobber - A friend or companion
- Cockie - A small farmer
- Coldie - A beer
- Cooee - A call from a distance
- Coppers - Police
- Crack The Shits - Getting angry at something
- Deadset - True
- Defo - Definitely
- Donger - Penis
- Drongo - A fool
- Facey - Facebook
- Fair Dinkum - Honestly
- Fairy Bread - Buttered bread with sprinkles on it
- Flat Out Like A Lizard Drinking - Really busy
- Footy - Football
- Fuck Me Dead - That’s unfortunate, that surprises me
- Furphy - Something improbable or absurd
- G’day! - Hello
- Galah - A stupid person
- Get Onya Bike - A phrase to tell someone to impolitely leave
- Get Pissed - Get drunk
- Give A Fair Go - Give a reasonable chance or fair deal
- Good Oil - Reliable information
- Good On Ya - Good work
- Grab A Slab - Get a carton of beers
- Gympie Gympie - A notoriously painful plant to come in contact with
- Happy As Larry - Extremely happy
- Harold Holt - Prime Minister who disappeared off Victoria’s coast in 1967
- Hard Yakka - Hard work
- Have A Slash - To urinate
- Have One For The Road - A last drink before going home
- Hooroo - Goodbye
- In The Shit - In serious trouble
- Innit - Isn’t it?
- Knickers - Women’s underwear
- Larrikin - Someone always up for a laugh, a joker
- Legless - Drunk
- Loo - Toilet
- Mad As A Cut Snake - Very angry, crazy, eccentric
- Manchester - Bed Sheets
- Mate - Friend, a general positive term for another person
- Mongrel - Someone who’s a bit of a dick
- MP - Member of Parliament
- Mull - Weed
- No Worries/No Wuckas - No problem, it’s okay
- Oz - Nickname for Australia
- Piece Of Piss - Easy
- Piss Up - A party
- Piss Off - “Get lost”
- Pissed - Drunk
- Pissing In My Vegemite - We just made this one up. Those Aussies have so many slang terms involving piss, no one will ever notice!
- Pulling The Wool Over My Eyes - Treat me dishonestly, cheating me
- Pushing Shit Uphill With A Rubber Fork - Something that’s impossible, so there’s no chance
- Rack Off - Tell someone to get lost
- Raincoat - A condom
- Randy - Horny
- Rapt - Very happy
- Reckon - For sure
- Rooned - Ruined
- Root Rat - Someone who enjoys sex a little too much
- Rooted - Tired, broken
- Rubbish - Worthless
- Sack - Fire from a job
- Sandgroper - Western Australians
- Serviette - Napkin
- Servo - Gas station
- Shark Biscuit - A kid
- She’ll Be Right - It will be okay
- Sheila - Generic name for a woman
- Shoot Through - Leave
- Slag Off - Harass, be mean to
- Snags - Sausages, beef and pork
- Straight To The Pool Room - Something that is of great value, it will be displayed as a trophy. “This autograph is going straight to the pool room!”
- Straya - Nickname for Australia
- Tidda - Aboriginal word for ‘sister’
- Toad - Someone from Queensland
- Troppo - Go crazy
- True Blue - A real Australian
- Wallabies - Australia national rugby union team
- Wouldn’t Piss On You If You Were On Fire - Don’t care about you
Glossary of Kiwi Slang
- All Blacks - The New Zealand national rugby union team
- Dingo Dongers - Derogatory term for Australian
- Good-As-Gold - Affirmative
- Handle the Jandal - Can you deal with the situation
- Hard Case - Funny
- Jafa - Just Another Fucking Aucklander
- Koala Cuddler - Derogatory term for Australian
- Munt - Something or someone dumb or annoying
- Munted - When something is really broken or someone is highly intoxicated
- Muppets - Idiots
- Ratbag - Brat
- Rattle Your Dags - Hurry up
- Such an Egg - A clown
- Sweet As - Cool, awesome or no problem
- Tiki Tour - Getting to a destination the long way
- Wop-Wops - The middle of nowhere
- Yeah, Nah - No
Thank You
There is no way to properly thank everyone, so I won’t.
Just kidding, my wife would take me to Australia just to murder me and hide the body if I did that.
Countless hours of writing and editing with Aaron and Phil, advising from Lisa Mezzacappa, rehearsing by performers, design by Ken, news articles forwarded from my Facebook friends, and laughs from everyone made this show possible. My silly jokes would have kept locked away in the dark recesses of my brain like the judge ordered were it not for all of their input.
I would not have undertaken the journey that led to the creation of this show were it not for the loving support of my wife, Liz, and my kids Rosemary, Philip, and David. The sacrifices I made to go on this journey were borne heaviest by all of you, and I cannot thank you enough for putting up with me. My parents, Nan and Lew, were always ready to help however possible, and their generosity resulted in our sanity stretching a little longer.
When I had the crazy idea to write a musical for my master's thesis project in 2023, instead of suggesting that I do something less insane, Lisa started spitballing ideas and quoting Monty Python. Her willingness to help convince the college that this was not a fool’s errand meant that, instead of just being a “could have been fun,” this dream became reality.
Jeff and Jodi brought their wisdom and experience to the helm of this show, figuring out how to deal with some very silly suggestions and offering alternatives to some of the wilder ones. Many residents of Geneva and the surrounding area donated their time, their props, their spare bedrooms, and occasionally their financial resources to support this show, and it would have been impossible without each of you.
And thanks to all of you patrons, but special thanks to everyone who goes out after this show and tells their friends in the theater world and wealthy relatives who like to invest in things about how amazing this show is. I’ll save you two tickets during our Broadway run.
Ben Kaye-Skinner